As for how to respond to this woman’s bullying, because that is what it is, in my view, I think the only way to proceed is to block all communications from her and just get on with your life. If she is trying to turn friends against you, there are two possible responses to that:
a) Either post a statement on Facebook, that you have split up and have nothing further you wish to say about this and then just get on with your life.
b) Alternatively simply ignore her provocations and if your friends bring her up with you, simply state that you are no longer together and do not wish to discuss the matter further.
She is continuing to harass you because she knows she is getting under your skin. Ignoring her provocations is, in my view, the most effective way of responding. Trying to justify your actions demonstrates that she still has power over you.
This question was answered by Deidre Haslam, an integrative psychotherapist based in Maldon, Essex. Her interests are in working with gender and sexual diversity issues, cultural and ethnic diversity, and disability.