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Marriage Counselling | Saving a Relationship

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What happens in marriage counselling?

Coming up against roadblocks in your marriage is an extremely distressing time for any couple. Maybe you find yourself constantly at loggerheads with your partner, unable to resolve arguments, or perhaps you’ve just gradually drifted apart and feel increasingly disconnected and distant.

Whatever’s going on, it’s never too early - or late - to seek the support of a qualified marriage counsellor to work through the difficulties you’re facing. Marriage counselling can benefit every partnership, regardless of the situation. Counsellors work with all kinds of different issues so nothing should ever be considered too big or too small.

In your first session, your counsellor will try to get an understanding of the main problems you’re coming up against. Marriage counselling is never about blame or labelling ‘good cop’ and ‘bad cop’. It’s about providing a safe space where both sides of the story can be heard.

This means that your marriage counsellor will never take sides and they’ll encourage both of you to express your thoughts and feelings on an equal level. At the same time, the ball will always be in your hands; you’ll never be forced to talk about anything you don’t want to.

Counselling isn’t just about focusing on the bad bits - what we don’t like about our partner, what irritates us, what we’d like to change etc. Of course, conflict is part and parcel of being a couple. But it can be easy to lose sight of the good bits when things start veering off track… Every relationship has its strength and your counsellor will look to draw your attention to the positive aspects in your marriage too.

Marriage counselling tends to be short-term, focused around finding solutions. Most marriage counsellors will suggest starting with 4 - 6 sessions and then check-in with you both and review from there. Sometimes one partner might choose to continue in individual therapy or counselling, depending on what comes up during your sessions.

Many couples leave counselling to the last minute, unsure of what to expect or feeling embarrassed about seeking help. Even if you believe your marriage is beyond repair, marriage counselling can help. No matter how bad it feels now, counselling provides a fresh perspective to help you see things through a different lens.

Some couples realise that it really does spell the end... But even in these cases, marriage counselling can help you find closure and a way to move forward amicably.

Signs you need marriage counselling

  • You’re arguing about money.
  • One of you has had an affair or has felt tempted.
  • You’re not being honest with each other.
  • You keep wishing your partner would change.
  • Your sex life has changed.
  • You’ve stopped communicating.
  • You pick arguments and find yourself trying to get a rise out of your partner.
  • You or your partner is passive-aggressive.
  • You find yourself coming back to the same argument every time.
  • You value opposing things.
  • You don’t put each other first anymore.
  • You can’t find a middle ground.
  • You’ve stopped making an effort to do romantic things together.
  • Your first port of call is a friend rather than your partner when something exciting or important happens.
  • You don’t share the same vision of your future.

How much does marriage counselling cost?

Marriage counselling tends to range anywhere from £50 to £120 per session, depending on your area and the level of experience your counsellor has. If you’re struggling financially, never let that hold you back from seeking support. Many counsellors will offer discounted rates according to you and your partner’s financial situation.

Marriage counselling: does it work?

Whatever you’re going through in your marriage, counselling can help you both find greater clarity to move forward - whether that’s together or it means looking ahead to a new life separately.

Below are just a handful of the ways in which marriage counselling could benefit your relationship:

  • Improve the way you handle your differences as a couple.
  • Move forward after past hurts and disappointments.
  • Learn how to communicate better.
  • Heal from infidelity.
  • Get clarity on whether your marriage can be salvaged or whether it’s time to move on.
  • Voice your needs in a safe environment where you can be heard without criticism or fear of difficult subjects escalating into arguments.
  • Pinpoint where your problems stem from and find ways to overcome them.
  • If your marriage is ending, support in making practical arrangements for the separation.

Finding marriage counselling near me

Looking for help with your marriage? Marriage counselling can help you get things back on track or support you to move forward separately. If you would like to learn more about what marriage counselling can offer you, we have a range of accredited marriage counsellors that can help. Speak to one of our team to get help to find a therapist.